Beach Action Shots.

When we participated in the kazoo band on the 4th of July, they gave Ellen some free passes for the Ocean Grove Beach (we would have gotten some as well, but we forgot to pick them up.)  So, off we went, with Ellen and her crew, to Ocean Grove Beach.

I really liked this beach, it was much cleaner than both Avon and Manasquan.  I am not sure why, but it was practically empty today, so we didn’t have to deal with a lot of beach traffic.   And we were able to find a location that was relatively close to the bathrooms (good for our newly potty trained munchkins.  Okay, Seth has been potty trained for awhile now.)

The only complaint the kids had was the waves were very mellow.  Of course, us Mommy’s were just fine with that!  There was only one mishap when Chloe and I were out in the ocean.  I misjudged the strength of a wave and it knocked me over while I was holding Chloe.  In my attempt to keep Chloe’s head above water, and try to get myself back to a standing position, I wrenched my shoulder and inhaled some sea water.  (I can actually still taste it in my mouth, I should go brush my teeth!)  Luckily, Chloe thought it was funny and it didn’t scare her at all.

She is getting a little too brave for my comfort, though.  Granted, the ocean was extremely calm today, but she wanted to go off by herself (The big kids were doing it!) and was upset that I told her I needed to keep ahold of her.  I guess in some ways I am glad she is challenging herself more.  But, that’s my baby, there is no way in HELL I am letting her go in the ocean.  Sorry, not gonna do it!

There are a few tips that I would share:

1)  Renting the Villa was one of the best things we could have done.  It gave us a temporary “home” where we could try to develop and maintain a consistent schedule so that she didn’t feel overwhelmed by all the other new experiences we were throwing her into.  She did a lot better when we were at the Villa or when we were at Becky and Roberts house in Germany, then when we were staying in the hotels in Florence and Genoa.  In the Villa, we could also do one day in Rome, then take one day easy, then do another day in Rome, that sort of thing.  So we were able to give her some down time where she could get decent sleep and just be a kid.  Plus, we could put her to bed, then hang out with our friends without worrying about leaving her alone in a hotel room.  It worked out really, really well.

2)  Become familiar with the local grocery store.  We had to replenish the snacks we brought with us much sooner than we thought because Chloe refused to eat the food at the restaurants.  Plus, the other positive with the villa, we had a kitchen.  So, we were able to make Chloe fish sticks, chicken nuggets, and french fries.  Not the healthiest of meal choices, but the child survived on breakfast bars, crackers and popcorn.  The occasional Chicken nugget was a necessity!  In addition to that, we didn’t bring enough pull-ups because we were planning on only having her sleep in them.  When she gave up on potty training, we had to replenish our supply of those, too.  (Having a kitchen also saved us a lot of money when it came to eating out.  We only ate out a few times for lunch and dinner in Rome.  We had breakfast EVERY day at the villa, and ate in most nights.  Luckily, we had some really good cooks with us, so it was a pleasure to hang out at night, eat good food, drink good beer and wine, and relax.  Plus, nobody had to drive home!)

3)  Bring lots of small books and toys.  Chloe’s favorites were little plastic animals.  Just be aware that there is a strong likelihood you will lose one or two of whatever you bring, so don’t bring anything valuable.  We had these with us all the time, so Chloe could play on the train, in a restaurant, or even in the museums, when she got bored with the “statues”.

4)  Don’t worry about sleeping arrangements.  I was extremely concerned and so we brought a camping air mattress with us for Chloe to sleep on.  (It rolled up REALLY small so we could easily fit it in our luggage.)  We only used it when we were at Becky and Robert’s house.  The villa had a pack and play, and it was easy to find a hotel room with two beds (one a single.)  We just rolled up a blanket and tucked it up under her sheets so she wouldn’t roll out of bed.  It worked fine, and she slept well.

5)  Take advantage of technology.  I have an IPOD tv adaptor, so we could plug Chloe’s movies in where ever there was a TV.  It came in handy when we were trying to prepare food, or eat (since she refused to eat with us.)  I know, electronic babysitter, yadda yadda yadda.  Sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do.  And she had no trouble accepting that when we got home, her TV use was limited again.  Plus, a video ipod comes in handy when you have to fly for 8-10 hours and your child refuses to sleep on a plane!

6)  I wish we had done this one:  Don’t try to keep your child happy all the time.  I think for the first week or so, we tried to keep her happy because we felt kind of guilty about dragging her around through all of these adult experiences.  Well, she just got increasingly demanding and then unbelievably whiny when she didn’t get her way.  I honestly think if we would have stuck to our normal discipline expectations, that wouldn’t have happened.  So, we learned from our mistake.  Luckily, she never really got THAT bad (I mean, she’s two, so you have to make some allowances for behavior) and she again seemed to return to normal when we got home and back to our routine.

All in all, it worked out very well, and we all had a good time.

When we ask Chloe what she saw in Italy/Germany, she say, “Castles, statues, and towers.”  I will be curious if any of it sticks, although I expect that she won’t remember this trip.  I do plan to take our photos and put them into a photobook, so we can go back and look at them.  I think she will probably remember the trip through the photos and our stories, so I will try and take advantage of that.

Finally, I embraced the phrase, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.”  We moved the potty into the room where she spends most of her time, we turned potty monkey back on as a reminder for her to try at least every half-hour, and I created one of my famous motivation charts (okay, famous in my own mind) where every time she pees she will get a star, and if she stays dry all day she will get to pick a surprise out of mommy’s surprise box.

I know she can do this, she’s done it before, it’s just a matter of convincing her it is in her best interest.  I just keep reminding myself that no one goes to college in diapers, right?  We’ll get there when we get there!

But, instead I sat with my child while she was playing, and I listened to CNN in the background.  But, while she was playing, I listened to her, too. I listened as she comforted her “babies” using the same words I use to comfort her.  I listened to her explain right and wrong to her dolls.  I listened to her tell me her alphabet, count forward and backward from ten, and identify her basic shapes.  I listened to her tell me how she loves me.  And I appreciated extra kisses and hugs.  And I payed attention to HER experiences.  (she loved the parade) And I listened to what she was observing and what she was thinking.  I realized that not only am I creating a human, I am creating a “character.”  One who knows right from wrong, one that is well rounded, one who appreciates all aspect of life.  I am creating the future. I might even be creating a leader.

Suddenly, I feel at peace.  I am doing what I can for the future of this country by nourishing the character of my CHILD.  I am raising the future, one person at a time.  It just so happens that the person I am focusing on is my own child.  And I am okay with that.

I may not be where I thought I would be.  But I am where I WANT to be.

And five years from now, Chloe and I will discuss what happened today.  And she will have an extra understanding because I was paying attention.  I am keeping track, and in some ways, score.  And when I look back on my life, I won’t regret not being THERE.  I will appreciate that I was HERE.

Chloe had been so good.  However, when we came back to Colorado to help with my dad, she shifted back to where she was 6 months ago.  She now says “No,” to almost everything.  She screaming at me, she’s being mean to my mom, and she has truly taken on the role of “Queen of Contrary.”

If she’s watching Ponies, she wants Tinker Bell. If I put Strawberry Shortcake pajamas on her and she wants Cinderella pajamas, she throws a 20 minute fit.  Yesterday, her fit was because she wanted to wear her pj’s all day and we had to get her dressed because we had to take my dad to his physical therapy.  I literally had to walk out of the room because she was screaming so loud she hurt my ears.  When she finally calmed down, she would only wear a particular dress because it had CInderella on it.

If she’s downstairs she wants to be upstairs, if she upstairs she wants to be down.  If I make her chicken nuggets she wants grilled cheese, if I make grilled cheese she wants pancakes.  If I poor her a cup of juice, she throws a fit because she wants milk, if I take the milk away to get her juice, she throws a fit because I took her milk.  I can’t win, and its driving me INSANE.

I’m worried this is happening because we have disrupted her routine so bad now she feels the need to control EVERYTHING that she can.  She misses her daddy, she misses school, she misses her own bed.  She keeps asking if we can go to “Mommy’s house” at naptime, because she doesn’t want to nap at Papa’s house.

I am glad I came out here, I really needed to do it for me.  I really feel like my parents needed me and have benefited from my help.  (I even got my dad to agree to a dramatic change in his diet!)  But, Chloe is losing it, and I don’t know if there’s anything I can do about it.  I think I just need to try and be as understanding as possible, and brace myself for the storm.

I just really hope we don’t have a repeat of this when we are in Italy.  I am not sure I can handle being in a foreign country with a cranky toddler!

Which, is why I am not writing.

But, I’ll get back to it.  As soon as I am done chillin’.

Last year, we didn’t tell her Santa brought presents, and we have never explained to her that if you ask him for something for Christmas, he just might bring it.  I think it was just easier, considering the likelihood of us EVER spending a Christmas at home, to just skip over that part of the myth so we didn’t have to answer any questions as to how Santa Claus knew she was at Mama and Papa’s house.

I think this would be the year to introduce it.  She’s a lot more aware of things, her memory is improving, and we are going to be home on Christmas Day.

But, I have to admit, I never really believed in Santa, and it didn’t bother me.  I still enjoyed “playing” for my sister who did believe.  We still got what we “asked Santa” for, and I always loved the stocking presents.  Now, as a parent, I have a hard time lying to my child.  I have heard stories of kids who found out Santa was a myth and they would be angry.  For the first time, they realized that parents lie, and they had a difficult time trusting their parents after that.

We’re not religious people, and I already have a hard time with Christmas in general.  I have to admit that I feel like a total hypocrite.  I justify by telling myself that we celebrate the meaning of family on Christmas.  That we celebrate loving and being loved, and all the trappings are just symbols of that.  We don’t believe in ghosts, but we celebrate Halloween.  We don’t believe in saints, but we celebrate Valentines day.  We’re barely Irish but we celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day.  So, Christmas is just another holiday that is an excellent excuse for everyone to get together.

Santa is definitely an important part of the Christmas tradition.  But I am still on the fence.  I think we could go one more year without having to include the “he brings you presents” part of the myth, but some day we are going to have to discuss this with Chloe, and I am just not quite sure what I am going to say.  Thoughts?  How important is Santa Claus?  And if we tell Chloe the truth, how likely is it that she will ruin it for some other child who does believe?

And here is where I am at.

Birthday’s were WAY more exciting when I actually wanted tangible recognition of age.  This is no longer the case.  Now that I have officially reached so called “adulthood” (as if) it is WAY more exciting for me to enjoy  the new experiences of my daughter.

Therefore:

We spent my birthday at Playhouse Disney.

John was able to get FREE tickets through work, otherwise we wouldn’t have gone.  But free is free, and Chloe LOVES the Little Einsteins with a fiery passion.

Much to our surprise, there are many OTHER characters in the Playhouse Disney line up.  We don’t watch live TV.  The only TV show Chloe watches is the Little Einsteins because we record it.  She has a couple of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofey, and Tigger stuffed toys.  But, other than being at a friend’s house when it was on, has NEVER seen the shows.  I think it is possible we saw a Winnie the Pooh show at Mama and Papa’s house, and I am positive she has NO IDEA who Hanny Manny is.  So, she was overjoyed to see the Little Einsteins characters, but was a little confused by the rest. When Pooh came on, she said, “Wook, Mommy, a bear!”

All in all, she loved it because it had dancing, pretty lights, and lots and lots of music.  But, I am trying to decide how I feel about that fact she didn’t recognize the other characters.  Part of me feels a sense of pride because she has latched on to a show that I feel has actual merit.  The other part of me, again, worries that she is missing out on a very important level of pop culture.

Seth loves Diego.  I think it is safe to say that Chloe has never seen a Diego show.  Jacob is infatuated with Mickey Mouse and Goofey.  Again, I don’t think that Chloe has ever seen a Mickey Mouse show from start to finish.  Julia wants to BE Minnie Mouse, and WAS for Halloween.  Chloe decided to be a pirate.

It amazes me, still, how different our children’s lives can be depending on what we choose to show them on television.

I am not going to say Chloe doesn’t watch TV.  Because, that would be a bold faced LIE!  But, she watches movies.  We have an extensive selection of Disney, Dreamworks, and Pixar movies.  She has probably seen movies that most children her age have never seen! (Cough: Incredibles, one of John and my ALL TIME FAVORITES)

Therefore, she can’t sing the title song to Mickey’s Clubhouse, but she can sing along with Ariel.

And, she was beside herself to see the Einstein’s Live!  All the other kids where like:  “Look, its MICKEY MOUSE!”  Chloe was like, “Wook, Leo!  Mommy, Wook ANNIE, Mommy wook QUINCY! Mommy, wook JUNE!”  Then Rocket appeared on stage and I flashed back to when I saw Micheal Jackson for the first time.  Yeah, it was that dramatic.

So, no.  I didn’t celebrate me on my birthday.  What I did was WAY better.

I have to be the first to admit that I am not completely convinced that Chloe is ready.  She is only exhibiting about half of the signs, but half is better than none, and I am TIRED of diaper rashes, poopy diapers, and her laziness.  And I have decided, in my infinite wisdom, that’s what it is.

So, we spent our entire day in the bathroom.  Wee!  On Ellen’s advice, I bought some cloth training pants, and I found a “Potty Monkey” while I was doing research.  (The potty monkey tells us every thirty minutes that he has to go potty.  He comes with his own little “potty,” where when you put him on it, he thanks you.  Then he asks if you are also going potty.)

She did extremely well in the morning, we only had one accident before her nap.  I was so proud of her!  I have to admit there is a weird level of pride when your child figures out something that is considered a pretty big step towards growing up.

Then, after her nap, she decided she was done for the day.  She refused to sit on the potty, the poor potty monkey had several “accidents” and, well, so did she.  One of which was while she was sitting on my lap.  Yuck!

But, after awhile, she decided she was back on board.  Unfortunately, this meant that once she was ready to sit on the potty, she wasn’t going to get back off until after she peed.  She literally sat there for an hour waiting to pee!  (We read books, blew bubbles, sang songs, played with her toys, drew pictures on her chalkboard.  You would be amazed how easy it is to entertain a two-year-old even though they are sitting in one spot!)

Our final moment of triumph was right before her bath.  I told her, “Your going to sit on the potty while mommy fills the bathtub.”  She said, “Okay, Mommy.”  Sat down, and let it rip.  I have never been so happy to hear the sound of someone peeing.  (and seriously, how often can you say that?)

Chloe was really proud of herself for peeing on the potty all day.  I feel kind of silly for holding off for so long.  I think it wasn’t just Chloe’s laziness, it was mine too.  I really didn’t want to deal with “accidents” and having to run to the potty when we were out in public.  Not to mention the upcoming road trip in Italy, where who knows where we will find facilities?

But, it’s time, and we have taken the leap.  She will wear pull ups for nap time and nighttime, but other than that, she will be wearing big girl panties from here on out.

So, I guess, start the count down…five…four…three…two… one.  Or something.

Now, I know Ellen is not going to believe me, she always insists that my house is always so clean.  But, if she were here right now, she would understand that even I, organization queen and self confessed type A, can have an off week.  Or an off month.  Sigh.

When I was about seven months pregnant, John and I decided to hire a maid.  Our house responsibilities are pretty equal, we always had this understanding that he took care of the outside of the house and any of the general maintenance, and I took care of the laundry and cleaning.  Cooking we shared until I became a SAHM.  But, when I was seven months pregnant, we decided we were going to move to New Jersey and put our house on the market.  There was NO WAY I was going to be able to work full time, and keep the house in the condition it needed to be to “show” well during open houses and random realitor visits when I was as large as a planet.

I loved Mary.  To me, she was more than just a hired maid, she was a miracle worker.  She could clean my entire house up to the standards that I felt it should be in two hours flat.  The exact level of cleanliness that it took me four to five hours to do by myself.  I always joked about how I wanted to follow her to see exactly how she did it.

It’s no longer a joke.  I really wish I knew all of her “trick’s of the trade.”  When I deep clean my house, it takes me HOURS and I just don’t have the energy or the time to devote to keeping it up.  And yet, here I am again, annoyed that things aren’t exactly the way I want them.  Wishing I had enough money to justify the cost of a monthly maid.  And knowing that this is all on me.

Sigh.  Okay, I am done feeling sorry for myself.  Here’s a moment of levity: