Posted on December 18, 2008
And for once, I don’t mean me. Muh wa ha ha ha.
Prelude: About a year ago, my brother decided to come out an visit me. Not a huge deal, he had visited before. I talked to him on the phone, and he said, “Yeah, so I’ll see you Thursday.” I thought he meant THAT Thursday. Turns out he meant a WEEK from Thursday.
So, THAT Thursday, I show up to the airport with my eighteen month old.
Issue # 1: I realize that I locked my keys in the car. So, as I am going into the airport to pick up my brother, I call John and ask him to bring me my spare set of keys.
Issue #2: Lance doesn’t arrive at his regularly scheduled flight. I call him, no answer. I talk to the flight desk, they insist that not only did the flight arrive on time, but that all the luggage had been accounted for and that no one was missing. I call my brother, asking him why he wasn’t on the flight. Finally, an hour later, he gets back to me, “Uh, Tiff, I’m coming in NEXT week.”
Well shit.
John shows up with the spare key, and I have to admit that I have to come back the next week to pick my brother up because I have the wrong week.
Issue #3: When this happened, I still wasn’t all that familiar with the airport area, and didn’t really know how to get home. John said, “follow me.” So, I tried. But he drove too fast and I couldn’t keep up. I soon realized I was heading towards New York, and I was hopelessly lost. WITH Chloe in the back seat. Plus, she hadn’t had dinner or a diaper change, and it was getting late.
So, I called John, and told him, “I’m lost. I am at a gas station somewhere. Please, don’t ask me where.”
After much trial and error, it quickly became clear the he was never going to find me. So he gave me some vague directions on how to get home from the airport and I was finally able to follow them.
6 hours later, I was home, without my brother, who was coming in the following week.
SO : HOW IS THIS NOT ABOUT ME?
Tonight, John called me as we were heading home from seeing Santa. It was about 8:15 mountain time. We were talking, and I mentioned that I had told Ellen I might see her on Friday play group, but now that I really thought about it, it didn’t make sense because I will have only gotten in at 5 AM and play group started at 9:30.
John: Why is that an issue, you will have had an whole day to recuperate.
Me: What do you mean, we get in at 5 am, play group is at 9:30.
John: Yes, you get in at 5:00am on Thursday, play group is on Friday.
Me: Uh, no. I leave at midnight on THURSDAY, and get in at 5 on FRIDAY
John: I think your wrong.
Me: Wednesday would mean I leave tonight, in like a half an hour.
John: Yes, I am planning on getting you from the airport TOMORROW at 5 am.
Me: NO FUCKING WAY!
John: Uh, yes.
Me: OH SHIT, I THOUGHT I WAS LEAVING TOMORROW.
John: Okay, I will look it up, but I am pretty sure I am getting you tomorrow morning.
While John is looking it up, my thoughts were: “WHOLLY FUCKING SHIT, I STILL HAVEN’T PACKED, OR DONE LAUNDRY! I HAVE NO ONE TO TAKE ME TO THE AIRPORT. SARA AND MATT WILL HAVE TO TAKE ME, I WILL HAVE TO HAVE MY MOM SHIP ALL MY CLOTHES BECAUSE I HAVE NO TIME TO PACK.” Of course I assumed I was in error. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to dates.
John: Oops. I guess I had it wrong. You were right. Well shit, I have an extra day, I am going to go play Guitar Hero.
Me: YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK. NEVER NEVER NEVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!!!!
John: Go out. Relax. Go have a beer.
Me: i plan to. go suck it.
(okay, so I didn’t say that last part. But I really really wanted to.)
For closure, after I screwed up so badly with my brother’s trip, John bought me a GPS. Of all the presents I have ever received in my ENTIRE LIFE, that was the best one. If your loved ones don’t already own one, and you are looking for an idea, GET IT. It has literally changed my life.
Oh, and I had a great time tonight with Matt and Sara. You guys rock. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Posted on November 22, 2008
I am terrible at keeping secrets. Don’t tell me ANYTHING you don’t want anyone else to know, because I will talk. As much as I day dream about being a spy, there is no way in a million years I could be. For one, I could never pull of a “secret” identity. Someone would ask me, “What so you do for a living?” And I would spill it. “By day I am a mild manner house wife, by night I am a bad ass super ninja spy. What do you do?” Plus, if I ever got caught, well Imagine me tied to a chair with a sweaty and unwashed bad guy with some sharp implement watching me from the other side of the room, then imagine that scene from Goonies where the Fratelli’s were interrogating Chunk. That would be me. “So, don’t even bother with the torture. When I was in 1st grade I…”
For the last two weeks I have been planning a surprise party for John’s 30th birthday. I was doing SO good. I made babysitting arrangements, sent out of the Evite, figured out the venue (Rock Bottom, one of our old haunting grounds when we lived in Colorado,) and told John we were going on a date. Then, last night after a couple of REALLY strong White Russians, John asked if we should change our date to the Chart House (where we got engaged, and then went to for all of anniversaries when we ived in Colorado.) A very sweet thought, but not at all in the plans. Now, I could have told him it was too far away. Or that traffic to get there would suck. Or even that I had my heart set on Rock Bottom. But no. Not me. I tell, “We have to go to Rock Bottom because I am planning a surprise party for you and everyone is meeting us there.” I. Suck.
So, John knows. However, there is a little element of surprise to the whole thing. He was surprised I kept it a secret for as long as I did. So, that’s something right?
The good news is he is really excited about his party. He’s really happy its going to happen. The bad news is I feel like a tool. Oh well.
Posted on November 18, 2008
I have been sitting here for ten minutes trying to rack my brain for a profound post that will cause everyone to sit back and go, “Hmmm…”
But, I got nothing.
All I can thing of are updates, so here you go…let the randomness commence. (Da ta da daaaaa)
- Chloe is still kicking butt with potty training. She had an accident on Friday of last week, but hasn’t had one since, and she wore her “big girl panties” to school yesterday instead of a pull up and kept them dry ALL DAY! She even tried really really hard last night to poop on the potty. (with minor success, but I won’t go into details.)
- She still likes her school, she didn’t want to go yesterday when I told her it was a school day, but she is always happy when I drop her off and she is always smiling when I pick her up.
- The nerves have begun. We fly to Denver on Saturday for a week, and even though I KNOW everything will be fine, I can’t get the queasy feeling out of my stomach. John is even flying with me both ways this time, so I really have NOTHING to worry about. And yet, I worry.
- That being said, I can’t wait to go back to Denver. I really miss everyone and I can’t wait to see you!
- My sister bought a house! She and Jeremy (aka: Wormy) closed on Friday.
- My brother accepted an offer on his house, so if all goes well he will be homeless soon. A fact that he is extremely happy about.
- I’m going Karaoke tomorrow with some of the ladies from my Mom’s club. I’m a little more excited about this than I should be. I LOVE to sing, but I wouldn’t say I am very good. I just hope the DJ has my repertoire, or things will get ugly.
- Ellen, Annette and I (all Colorado transplants) are making a pilgrimage to Chipolte today. We still can’t find decent Mexican food out here, and we are suffering from withdrawal. Its an half hour to fourty five minute drive, but it is WORTH IT, DAMMIT!
- I hope John doesn’t mind me telling you this, but he layed down his bike. For those of you who aren’t into motorcycles, that means he lost control when he was accelerating out of a turn and tipped his motorcylce on to its side. He’s fine, a bit bruised and banged up, but otherwise fine. His bike, on the other hand, is damaged. He’s going to have to do some repairs before he can ride again, which considering its starting to get really cold here is pretty good timing.
- Our plans for New Years in Italy are coming along swimmingly. We have now filled the Villa with: Robert and Becky, Karsten and Sonja, Devon and Monica, James, John, Chloe and I. We anticipate that Chloe will do swimmingly, as she has proven herself to be an excellent tourist.
- Chloe’s new favorite movie is “Sleeping Beauty.” She especially loves the end of the movie when Princess Aurora and King Phillip are dancing. Either John or I have to dance with her, and she calls out the color of the dress and attempts to sing along with the song. (Kind of like this: “I saw you, na na na BLUE! a dream na na PINK! na eyes na na BLUE!.”) Oh, and she calls the fairies, “Berries.”
Okay, I’m done. Thanks for caring enough to make it to the end!
Posted on September 6, 2008
Did that get your attention? Cause, quite honestly, it really wasn’t that bad. When I came downstairs this morning, our house felt like someone had sucked all of the air out of it, and it was so muggy it was sophicating. But, I fired up the air conditioners and the air slowly cooled. We planned for the worst, but it was a typical New Jersey rain storm.
I mean, yes, it rained…and rained…and rained.
And while it rained, we did crafts,
Played with marbles and PVC pipes.
and dressed up, just in case the rain does stop and we can go out on the town!
Posted on March 20, 2008
This post is dedicated to my wonderful and caring husband who gets up almost every morning with Chloe (including this morning) and lets me sleep for that all important extra hour. And, an apology to him, because I snapped at him at 5:00am this morning after I had been up with Chloe for two hours trying to convince her to go back to sleep. Its not his fault that I am a light sleeper and I hear every sound. And its not his fault the cats keep escaping from the basement and wake her up by meowing outside her bedroom door.
So, my love, thank you for all that you do! I really do appreciate it, even though I am not good at showing it after a sleepless night.
(PS: Misty, I am not copying you..I was planning on writing this post before I read yours, we just seem to be in the same boat right now with our tiny tyrants.)