Posted on June 6, 2008
Oops.
I learned a valuable lesson today about New Jersey Sunburns. They creep up on you. Our friend James is visiting, and I decided to take him to the beach today, even though it was on the nippy side. Most of the day, it was overcast and chilly, so we were wearing our jackets. Around one or so, the sun came out, but it was still a little chilly with the ocean breeze. In Colorado, when you start to get sunburned, you can feel it. I mean, you can almost literally feel your flesh cooking. I guess that is because it is a dry heat. However, when you have that cool ocean breeze, you don’t feel it. Needless to say, none of us was wearing sunblock, and all three of us got sunburned. Unfortunately, Chloe got it the worst because she is SO fair. Sigh, I guess it had to happen sooner or later. The good news is it didn’t slow her down at all. The only time she even complained about it was when I washed her face after dinner.
Here are some picks of her at the ocean, I guess while she was being broiled.
Posted on June 5, 2008
The top twenty was chosen for my summer tv obsession: “So You Think You Can Dance.” I enjoy American Idol, mostly because so many people watch it that I actually feel like I am part of a pop culture phenomena. But, SYTYCD is all about my adolescent passion, Dancing. I was a dancer for 12 years when I was younger, and I danced ballet, tap and jazz. I always loved dancing, but I knew in my heart that I was never going to be good enough to even consider doing it as a career. This became especially apparent after I had back surgery when I was 12 and had to take a year off. When I went back, the studio refused to let me even attempt to go up on point, and to get the good parts in the recitals you needed to be on point. So, my career ended before it even began (cue sad violin music.) But I danced for another 3 years anyway, because I just loved it so much. Because of this, I really feel like I have an appreciation for the dancers and the choreography on this show (except for ballroom, because lets face it, ballroom has entirely to many rules and I don’t know how you can keep track of them all.) In the end, I think the true appeal is envy, I would have loved to be able to do what these amazing athletes can do. There is my justification for taking yet another reality TV show seriously, and prepare yourself for updates.
ps. thank you everyone who commented or emailed me about the sleep deprivation post. Chloe has now slept until 6 for two days in row, things are beginning to look up!
Posted on June 4, 2008
I was trying to come up with some insightful content for this post. At this point, though, I am so sleep deprived that I can’t come up with ANYTHING! I swear, there was definitely supposed to be a point where I was going to be able to get some sleep. I had the baby, and was aware that there was going to be a chunkof time where I didn’t get any sleep, so it wasn’t like I wasn’t expecting some sleep deprivation. But we are talking TWO YEARS now.
Chloe has now decided that she is going to get up at itty bitty hours of the morning. By that I mean between 4:00 and 5:30 am. And I am talking UP. She’s ready to eat her breakfast and start playing. I have begged and pleaded with her, I have tried to convince her that 5:00 am is too early to get up. And on occasion, she has gone back to bed for 15 to 20 minutes. Then she is up again. All I have to say, is in all of this don’t pity me, pity John. Because when I get up that early I am MEAN. Not just crabby, and whiny, but MEAN. The first couple of mornings I might have just been whiny. The third morning I snapped at him and then complained because I was the only one waking up (waking him up in the process). The fourth morning, I forced him to get out of bed to get up with her. Needless to say, now we are both mean. Oh, and so is Chloe. She is completely melting down at 11:00am and going down for a nap way earlier than I would like her to. (Especially since almost all of our schedule activities like Gymboree and our Mom’s Club play group last until 12:00 or later and I am the parent carrying the kicking and screaming child out of the place.)
The other problem that I have with her sleep patterns is that they are so unbelievably inconsistent. She’ll sleep really well for a week, and then she’ll wake up every night at 3:00 am for a week, but sleep in until 7. Then she’ll sleep the whole night, and get up at 5:00.
The erratic sleep is effecting my overall mental health. I am having a terribly time getting and staying motivated to do anything around the house or outside of the house. I am having a difficult time remembering things, keeping track of objects and dates. I have even gained ten pounds back because I have had a hard time coming up with the energy to exercise.
It has also effected my ability to parent. The first two hours that I am up with Chloe are spent with me trying to catch some extra sleep on the sofa while she watches a movie. And even after that, I used to have a plan of what we were going to do every day and it wasn’t structured but it was definitely focused on learning certain skills. I have almost completely given up on that, and we spend most of the mornings before her nap now just playing whatever game she invents in the moment (which I am sure benefits her also, but there are definitely times when I can tell she is just bored.) That isn’t even taking into consideration my patience level. I am shorter with her, I have a harder time dealing with her tantrums and her demanding nature.
I hate that I have moments when I have to remind myself, “I signed up for this.” When it comes right down to it, I was the one who wanted a child. John was okay with it, don’t get me wrong, but it was really all about what i wanted. And I LOVE my kid. She is funny, smart, sweet, cuddly and unbelievably entertaining. But every morning at 5 am, I say to myself, “I’m not cut out for this.” And when she wants me to entertain her that early in the morning, I want to tell her, “Go play by yourself for awhile.” It makes me so sad that she has added to her vocabulary, “Mommy’s tired,” and “Wake up, Mommy.” I tell myself every morning that its going to be different. But, I just cannot function that early in the morning.
So, in the essence of solving the problem, not just complaining about it, John and I foiled her windows with the idea that when we get half a moment to breath we’ll buy black out curtains for her room, on the chance its the sun waking her up. And I have now permanently moved her bedtime to 8 pm. So far, the only effects have been she took a four hour nap yesterday (I think because it was so dark in her room) and she got up at 6 am this morning (6 is SOOO much better than 4!)
I have to admit that I am TERRIFIED that she is just going to be an erratic sleeper and I am basically screwed until she is old enough to take care of herself in the morning. I am also worried about adding another kid into the mix. John and I have discussed it, but with his current job situation and the constraints of our house, it might be awhile. And now, I am adding to that list that it would be nice to have a solid period of time where I can catch some zzzzz’s before starting this all over again.
Posted on May 30, 2008
This is totally a mommy blog. When I first heard that term, “Mommy blog,” I was a little offended. It sounded so negative and I don’t see why its wrong to blog about your kids growing up. One of the things I have learned from the bloggisphere is that all of us Mommies go through the same ups and downs, and that it is okay to make mistakes as a parent. How can it be wrong to belong to a community where you can brag about how great your kids are, and complain about how frustrating they can be, while giving and receiving support from people who are in the same situation?
But, I realize that it is the lack of uniqueness that gives mommy bloggers a bad name. Most of us write about the same issues. I tried for a while to branch out of the mommy blog stereotype by writing about organization and American Idol, but I now realize that the posts that I enjoy rereading the most (and yes, I do occasionally reread what I have written) are the ones where I talk about Chloe. Trust me, I could write about all sorts of things. I could do more posts on living in New Jersey, adjusting to life away from my family, whether or not I want to still be a teacher, and the ups and downs of marriage. But I know who my audience is, a majority of it anyway, friends and family. And I am assuming that none of you really wants to hear me whine, and that Chloe is a lot more interesting at this point. Not that I won’t do an occasional post about the above, I just am embracing my reality.
This is a mommy blog…and I am okay with that!
(Which would also explain my “G” rating! Someday I might turn this blog into a book for Chloe, and I don’t want to have to edit out a bunch of swear words!)
Posted on May 30, 2008
instead of just lame. Okay, not just lame, but the biggest lame-o in lamesville.
I had my blog tested to see what it rated…
Which, could mean a couple of things. I have successfully learned to express myself without using bad language or potty humor. Or I am lame. I keep going back and forth. One thing is for sure, I am definitely not gritty enough for the streets, so its a darn good thing I live in suburbia!
Posted on May 29, 2008
“She looks like she has leadership skills to me.”
“That’s just your way of saying she’s bossy, besides how can you tell, she’s sleeping.”
“She has a wise face.”
« Previous Page — Next Page »