Posted on January 30, 2009
Okay, so I am pretty used to having back pain. I am so used to it, in fact, that I stopped taking pain medicine for back aches years ago, and when I wrenched something 6 months ago while shutting the back door of my car, I gritted my teeth and just tried not to move that way for awhile. About two months ago, my hip started popping out. Its excruciatingly painful, but it pops back in within a couple of minutes, so my plan of action was to just deal.
Well, when the first day we toured in Rome we left the stroller back at the villa, I ended up carrying Chloe more than I have for awhile. It got so bad, I had to just tell her no. That’s why in most of the pictures Chloe is riding on Daddy’s shoulders. But, again, I just thought I would let it rest up when we got home, and it would probably go away.
Last Monday, I was in the grocery store pushing the shopping cart and my hip popped out. It hurt so bad, I literally had to do some serious deep breathing to stop myself from crying. After that, I thought to myself, “Okay, this is not normal, even for someone with rods.” I have a pretty high tolerance for pain (you have to when you have scoliosis and chronic back pain) but this was too much for me.
So, I took a big girl pill and started looking into getting it fixed.
Now, unfortunately this has happened to me before. The last time, the doctor told me that the ligaments in my hips were stretched (and ligaments aren’t supposed to stretch) because they were compensating for the inflexibility in my back. I went to my primary physician through Kaiser, who referred me to an orthopedic surgeon. I drove 50 minutes to a different office, then waited for an hour in the waiting room, for him to look at me for 5 minutes, tell me I needed xrays and an MRI, and referred me to a physical therapist to deal with the pain. While I was making the appt with the PT, I heard the doctor dictating notes about the visit. He said, “Its degenerative, I don’t think there’s anything we can do.” I decided at that time that I would do the PT till I felt better, but I wouldn’t follow up with the doc. I didn’t see the point.
Now, 7 years (or so) later, I am right back where I was.
I called the specialist, who insisted I go to the primary care physician first. My doc said I would probably need PT, but wanted a specialist to look me over to see what exercises I should do. The specialist won’t see me without xrays, so I got those done. Then I called them to make an appt, they don’t take my insurance. There isn’t ANYONE in the area who takes my insurance AND works with scoliosis patients. Another phone call to the insurance company, they kept me on hold for 20 minutes, then told me that before they can “make an exception” I have to have an appointment because they need a physician’s name. Another phone call to the specialist. They tell me that I have to find out if I have “out of network” benefits. Another call to the insurance company. Another 15 minutes on hold, then I find out I do indeed have out of network, but we have a $2000 deductible. Call the specialist back. FINALLY, they make an appointment, but I am going to have to pay for the visit. Sigh.
Next week I will see the orthopedic surgeon for a “consultation.” My hope is he’ll look at me, say I need PT, then I can go to an “in network” PT and fix it. My worst fear is, of course, more surgery.
Luckily, getting the xrays was painless, covered by insurance, and actually kind of fascinating. I used to joke to my kids all the time that their teacher was actually a cyborg. Here’s the proof:
Posted on January 25, 2009
Just kidding, it wasn’t that bad.
There are a few tips that I would share:
1) Renting the Villa was one of the best things we could have done. It gave us a temporary “home” where we could try to develop and maintain a consistent schedule so that she didn’t feel overwhelmed by all the other new experiences we were throwing her into. She did a lot better when we were at the Villa or when we were at Becky and Roberts house in Germany, then when we were staying in the hotels in Florence and Genoa. In the Villa, we could also do one day in Rome, then take one day easy, then do another day in Rome, that sort of thing. So we were able to give her some down time where she could get decent sleep and just be a kid. Plus, we could put her to bed, then hang out with our friends without worrying about leaving her alone in a hotel room. It worked out really, really well.
2) Become familiar with the local grocery store. We had to replenish the snacks we brought with us much sooner than we thought because Chloe refused to eat the food at the restaurants. Plus, the other positive with the villa, we had a kitchen. So, we were able to make Chloe fish sticks, chicken nuggets, and french fries. Not the healthiest of meal choices, but the child survived on breakfast bars, crackers and popcorn. The occasional Chicken nugget was a necessity! In addition to that, we didn’t bring enough pull-ups because we were planning on only having her sleep in them. When she gave up on potty training, we had to replenish our supply of those, too. (Having a kitchen also saved us a lot of money when it came to eating out. We only ate out a few times for lunch and dinner in Rome. We had breakfast EVERY day at the villa, and ate in most nights. Luckily, we had some really good cooks with us, so it was a pleasure to hang out at night, eat good food, drink good beer and wine, and relax. Plus, nobody had to drive home!)
3) Bring lots of small books and toys. Chloe’s favorites were little plastic animals. Just be aware that there is a strong likelihood you will lose one or two of whatever you bring, so don’t bring anything valuable. We had these with us all the time, so Chloe could play on the train, in a restaurant, or even in the museums, when she got bored with the “statues”.
4) Don’t worry about sleeping arrangements. I was extremely concerned and so we brought a camping air mattress with us for Chloe to sleep on. (It rolled up REALLY small so we could easily fit it in our luggage.) We only used it when we were at Becky and Robert’s house. The villa had a pack and play, and it was easy to find a hotel room with two beds (one a single.) We just rolled up a blanket and tucked it up under her sheets so she wouldn’t roll out of bed. It worked fine, and she slept well.
5) Take advantage of technology. I have an IPOD tv adaptor, so we could plug Chloe’s movies in where ever there was a TV. It came in handy when we were trying to prepare food, or eat (since she refused to eat with us.) I know, electronic babysitter, yadda yadda yadda. Sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do. And she had no trouble accepting that when we got home, her TV use was limited again. Plus, a video ipod comes in handy when you have to fly for 8-10 hours and your child refuses to sleep on a plane!
6) I wish we had done this one: Don’t try to keep your child happy all the time. I think for the first week or so, we tried to keep her happy because we felt kind of guilty about dragging her around through all of these adult experiences. Well, she just got increasingly demanding and then unbelievably whiny when she didn’t get her way. I honestly think if we would have stuck to our normal discipline expectations, that wouldn’t have happened. So, we learned from our mistake. Luckily, she never really got THAT bad (I mean, she’s two, so you have to make some allowances for behavior) and she again seemed to return to normal when we got home and back to our routine.
All in all, it worked out very well, and we all had a good time.
When we ask Chloe what she saw in Italy/Germany, she say, “Castles, statues, and towers.” I will be curious if any of it sticks, although I expect that she won’t remember this trip. I do plan to take our photos and put them into a photobook, so we can go back and look at them. I think she will probably remember the trip through the photos and our stories, so I will try and take advantage of that.
Posted on January 22, 2009
We are jumping back into potty training with both feet, and I gotta say, it’s not going well. Chloe seems to have lost her motivation to be a big girl. She doesn’t care if we put her in diapers. She doesn’t want to sit on the potty. I find myself doing things I promised I would never do. I even yelled at her, and I almost NEVER yell. (In my defense, she had just sat down on the potty for like ten minutes, then got up and pooped on the floor.)
Finally, I embraced the phrase, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.” We moved the potty into the room where she spends most of her time, we turned potty monkey back on as a reminder for her to try at least every half-hour, and I created one of my famous motivation charts (okay, famous in my own mind) where every time she pees she will get a star, and if she stays dry all day she will get to pick a surprise out of mommy’s surprise box.
I know she can do this, she’s done it before, it’s just a matter of convincing her it is in her best interest. I just keep reminding myself that no one goes to college in diapers, right? We’ll get there when we get there!
Posted on January 20, 2009
I admit, I was a little disheartened when I realized that my experience when it comes to this historical and amazing day, is much different than I would have liked. I am, at heart and soul, an educator. And it was painful to me to sit at home, in this days of all days, with a child who can’t possibly understand what all of this means. I wanted to explain to her how far we have come, as a country, as a society, and as a consciousness. I wanted to share this with SOMEBODY, anybody.
But, instead I sat with my child while she was playing, and I listened to CNN in the background. But, while she was playing, I listened to her, too. I listened as she comforted her “babies” using the same words I use to comfort her. I listened to her explain right and wrong to her dolls. I listened to her tell me her alphabet, count forward and backward from ten, and identify her basic shapes. I listened to her tell me how she loves me. And I appreciated extra kisses and hugs. And I payed attention to HER experiences. (she loved the parade) And I listened to what she was observing and what she was thinking. I realized that not only am I creating a human, I am creating a “character.” One who knows right from wrong, one that is well rounded, one who appreciates all aspect of life. I am creating the future. I might even be creating a leader.
Suddenly, I feel at peace. I am doing what I can for the future of this country by nourishing the character of my CHILD. I am raising the future, one person at a time. It just so happens that the person I am focusing on is my own child. And I am okay with that.
I may not be where I thought I would be. But I am where I WANT to be.
And five years from now, Chloe and I will discuss what happened today. And she will have an extra understanding because I was paying attention. I am keeping track, and in some ways, score. And when I look back on my life, I won’t regret not being THERE. I will appreciate that I was HERE.
Posted on January 20, 2009
Where were you when our first African American president took office?
Sitting on my couch, eating fish sticks with my two year old, trying to explain to her that I said, “New PRESIDENT” not new present.
History happens no matter where you are, or what you are doing. But I felt at that moment that maybe I should at least have been showered, dressed, and eating some healthy meal while having a healthy political discussion with other adults who appreciated the moment as much as I did. The closest I could get was swapping comments on Facebook.
Instead, I was grateful that I have a DVR and could pause Obama’s speech because Chloe decided at that moment she was ready for a nap.
That being said, she totally dug Aretha Franklin and was very excited to see people playing the violin and cello on TV (thanks Little Einsteins!) I guess we can talk about the historical significance when she’s three.
Posted on January 11, 2009
Yes, we are home.
We had one of the best airplane flights I have ever been on, they had “video on demand” with a bunch of kids movies. Chloe was happy, I was happy, John watched a Lord of the Rings Marathon, so he was happy. The only thing that could have made it a better flight was if the food actually tasted life food, instead of dirt.
Our plan to beat jet lag:
1) Chloe didn’t sleep on the plane but slept when we got home, which we will call a “nap” even though for us it was 10:00pm.
2) We wake her up just long enough to have dinner, play with her toys for a bit, then into the bath and back to bed, which will get her in bed around 7:30 pm New Jersey time. (Trust me, she is as tired as we are, she asked to go take a bath after only being up for 15 minutes.)
3) I will NOT ALLOW her to get up super early. That’s it, putting my foot down, no early rising for me!
Tomorrow, she goes back to school, and we have to start over with potty training. (Okay, so not OVER, she used the potty’s in Italy, but they freaked her out a little, so we lost some of her consistency, and in the end we all just kid of gave up.)
Back to the daily grind. It will feel weird, Chloe and I haven’t been really home since Thanksgiving. I wonder if we’ll remember what it means to NOT travel?
Oh, and John’s working on the pictures. We have a ton, so its going to take awhile to get them uploaded.
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