Posted on December 18, 2008
And for once, I don’t mean me. Muh wa ha ha ha.
Prelude: About a year ago, my brother decided to come out an visit me. Not a huge deal, he had visited before. I talked to him on the phone, and he said, “Yeah, so I’ll see you Thursday.” I thought he meant THAT Thursday. Turns out he meant a WEEK from Thursday.
So, THAT Thursday, I show up to the airport with my eighteen month old.
Issue # 1: I realize that I locked my keys in the car. So, as I am going into the airport to pick up my brother, I call John and ask him to bring me my spare set of keys.
Issue #2: Lance doesn’t arrive at his regularly scheduled flight. I call him, no answer. I talk to the flight desk, they insist that not only did the flight arrive on time, but that all the luggage had been accounted for and that no one was missing. I call my brother, asking him why he wasn’t on the flight. Finally, an hour later, he gets back to me, “Uh, Tiff, I’m coming in NEXT week.”
Well shit.
John shows up with the spare key, and I have to admit that I have to come back the next week to pick my brother up because I have the wrong week.
Issue #3: When this happened, I still wasn’t all that familiar with the airport area, and didn’t really know how to get home. John said, “follow me.” So, I tried. But he drove too fast and I couldn’t keep up. I soon realized I was heading towards New York, and I was hopelessly lost. WITH Chloe in the back seat. Plus, she hadn’t had dinner or a diaper change, and it was getting late.
So, I called John, and told him, “I’m lost. I am at a gas station somewhere. Please, don’t ask me where.”
After much trial and error, it quickly became clear the he was never going to find me. So he gave me some vague directions on how to get home from the airport and I was finally able to follow them.
6 hours later, I was home, without my brother, who was coming in the following week.
SO : HOW IS THIS NOT ABOUT ME?
Tonight, John called me as we were heading home from seeing Santa. It was about 8:15 mountain time. We were talking, and I mentioned that I had told Ellen I might see her on Friday play group, but now that I really thought about it, it didn’t make sense because I will have only gotten in at 5 AM and play group started at 9:30.
John: Why is that an issue, you will have had an whole day to recuperate.
Me: What do you mean, we get in at 5 am, play group is at 9:30.
John: Yes, you get in at 5:00am on Thursday, play group is on Friday.
Me: Uh, no. I leave at midnight on THURSDAY, and get in at 5 on FRIDAY
John: I think your wrong.
Me: Wednesday would mean I leave tonight, in like a half an hour.
John: Yes, I am planning on getting you from the airport TOMORROW at 5 am.
Me: NO FUCKING WAY!
John: Uh, yes.
Me: OH SHIT, I THOUGHT I WAS LEAVING TOMORROW.
John: Okay, I will look it up, but I am pretty sure I am getting you tomorrow morning.
While John is looking it up, my thoughts were: “WHOLLY FUCKING SHIT, I STILL HAVEN’T PACKED, OR DONE LAUNDRY! I HAVE NO ONE TO TAKE ME TO THE AIRPORT. SARA AND MATT WILL HAVE TO TAKE ME, I WILL HAVE TO HAVE MY MOM SHIP ALL MY CLOTHES BECAUSE I HAVE NO TIME TO PACK.” Of course I assumed I was in error. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to dates.
John: Oops. I guess I had it wrong. You were right. Well shit, I have an extra day, I am going to go play Guitar Hero.
Me: YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK. NEVER NEVER NEVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!!!!
John: Go out. Relax. Go have a beer.
Me: i plan to. go suck it.
(okay, so I didn’t say that last part. But I really really wanted to.)
For closure, after I screwed up so badly with my brother’s trip, John bought me a GPS. Of all the presents I have ever received in my ENTIRE LIFE, that was the best one. If your loved ones don’t already own one, and you are looking for an idea, GET IT. It has literally changed my life.
Oh, and I had a great time tonight with Matt and Sara. You guys rock. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Posted on December 17, 2008
I think I have made it pretty well known that I have worked with some pretty tough kids. The thing about most kids with behavioral disorders (and please note I said most and not all) is that their behavior can be pretty predictable. Once you know the child, and you know the types of outside stimuli that trigger their emotional response, you can sometimes predict which situations will be difficult for them.
You would think this would be even more true with your own child. Of course, there are certain situations where you can absolutely predict how your child is going to react, if they have certain fears, or if certain times of the day are difficult. But, I have discovered with a certain two-year-old that just when I feel like I have a handle on her behavior, she throws me a curve ball.
Today, just for example, she was having a really good morning. She was sharing nicely with our baby friend, Derek. She handled the long drive in the car to and from the Derek’s house without incident. She even accepted without complaint when I told her she couldn’t have any candy at Papa’s office. Then it came time to leave the office, and she wanted to be carried. I have been trying not to carry her as much because she is getting too heavy, and so I told her no. We really weren’t walking that far. TOTAL MELTDOWN. I mean come on, most toddlers love to walk!
The moral of this story: I need to stop trying to predict my child’s behavior. I often get it wrong, and all it does is frustrate me.
Posted on December 17, 2008
I fell off the wagon for awhile with my “book a week” promise. But, I am back on! I was wading my way through The Duchess, which is an excellent book, but it is a biography, which makes it a little on the dry side. Then I went to see the movie Twilight. Well, needless to say I have been the last two week reading all four books in the series. I just finished the last one two nights ago.
All I have to say is “Vampires with superpowers,” and no more. However, in case that doesn’t hook ya, I will also add, “eternal love,” “werewolves,” and “secret societies.” Recipe for the ultimate teenage goth’s fantasy! Now, I realize I am not a teenage goth. But I was once (sort of, wanna-a-be anyway), and I still find these situations completely fascinating.
So, the writing wasn’t Pulitzer worthy, but man were they fun books! I highly recommend them if you want to read for some cheap thrills. I give them 4 stars, because vegetarian vampires with superpowers rock my world.
Posted on December 12, 2008
A couple of days ago, I was at the local Starbucks and the guy serving the coffee (Barista? whatever the male term is) was being so nice that I thought, “Hey, this guy is flirting with me!” This caught me off guard, because he had to have been at least ten years younger than I am.
This has now happened to me several times since: the waiter at Old Chicago’s, the usher at the movie theater, and the guy who rang up my new shirt at Old Navy. I was confused because I seriously needed a hair cut and I have the remnants of a cold sore. Surely, no one would find me attractive right now. And yet, I kept thinking that they were flirting, they were just so overly nice.
Then I had the embarrassing revelation that they weren’t flirting, it’s just that we are in Colorado where every one is really nice and friendly. I have gotten so accustomed to the abrupt and sometimes rude nature of New Jersean’s that I had convinced myself that nobody is that nice unless they are flirting.
Sigh, am I becoming one of them? Please, say it ain’t so!
Posted on December 11, 2008
Chloe: Mommy!
Me: Yes, Chloe?
Chloe: Moooommmmyyyyy!
Me: What sweetie?
Chloe: Mooooooooooooommmmmmyyyyyyyy!
Me: What, Chloe, what, what do you want?
Chloe: I got feet!
Me: (Flabbergasted) Uh, yes, yes you do have feet. I am so happy for you.
(She runs off to play. I walk over to a wall and start beating my head against it.)
Posted on December 10, 2008
Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde is back in spades.
Chloe had been so good. However, when we came back to Colorado to help with my dad, she shifted back to where she was 6 months ago. She now says “No,” to almost everything. She screaming at me, she’s being mean to my mom, and she has truly taken on the role of “Queen of Contrary.”
If she’s watching Ponies, she wants Tinker Bell. If I put Strawberry Shortcake pajamas on her and she wants Cinderella pajamas, she throws a 20 minute fit. Yesterday, her fit was because she wanted to wear her pj’s all day and we had to get her dressed because we had to take my dad to his physical therapy. I literally had to walk out of the room because she was screaming so loud she hurt my ears. When she finally calmed down, she would only wear a particular dress because it had CInderella on it.
If she’s downstairs she wants to be upstairs, if she upstairs she wants to be down. If I make her chicken nuggets she wants grilled cheese, if I make grilled cheese she wants pancakes. If I poor her a cup of juice, she throws a fit because she wants milk, if I take the milk away to get her juice, she throws a fit because I took her milk. I can’t win, and its driving me INSANE.
I’m worried this is happening because we have disrupted her routine so bad now she feels the need to control EVERYTHING that she can. She misses her daddy, she misses school, she misses her own bed. She keeps asking if we can go to “Mommy’s house” at naptime, because she doesn’t want to nap at Papa’s house.
I am glad I came out here, I really needed to do it for me. I really feel like my parents needed me and have benefited from my help. (I even got my dad to agree to a dramatic change in his diet!) But, Chloe is losing it, and I don’t know if there’s anything I can do about it. I think I just need to try and be as understanding as possible, and brace myself for the storm.
I just really hope we don’t have a repeat of this when we are in Italy. I am not sure I can handle being in a foreign country with a cranky toddler!
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