Santa (aka: Lying to your Children)
Posted on November 21, 2008
I have been bouncing this idea around my head, and I am not sure what to do about it. Chloe, at this point, really doesn’t have an idea who Santa Claus is. I just recently busted out the Christmas DVD’s my mom gave us last year, and she has been obsessively watching “Frosty the Snowman.” At the end of the movie, Santa shows up to save Frosty, and Chloe turns to me and says, “Mommy, what’s that?”
Last year, we didn’t tell her Santa brought presents, and we have never explained to her that if you ask him for something for Christmas, he just might bring it. I think it was just easier, considering the likelihood of us EVER spending a Christmas at home, to just skip over that part of the myth so we didn’t have to answer any questions as to how Santa Claus knew she was at Mama and Papa’s house.
I think this would be the year to introduce it. She’s a lot more aware of things, her memory is improving, and we are going to be home on Christmas Day.
But, I have to admit, I never really believed in Santa, and it didn’t bother me. I still enjoyed “playing” for my sister who did believe. We still got what we “asked Santa” for, and I always loved the stocking presents. Now, as a parent, I have a hard time lying to my child. I have heard stories of kids who found out Santa was a myth and they would be angry. For the first time, they realized that parents lie, and they had a difficult time trusting their parents after that.
We’re not religious people, and I already have a hard time with Christmas in general. I have to admit that I feel like a total hypocrite. I justify by telling myself that we celebrate the meaning of family on Christmas. That we celebrate loving and being loved, and all the trappings are just symbols of that. We don’t believe in ghosts, but we celebrate Halloween. We don’t believe in saints, but we celebrate Valentines day. We’re barely Irish but we celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day. So, Christmas is just another holiday that is an excellent excuse for everyone to get together.
Santa is definitely an important part of the Christmas tradition. But I am still on the fence. I think we could go one more year without having to include the “he brings you presents” part of the myth, but some day we are going to have to discuss this with Chloe, and I am just not quite sure what I am going to say. Thoughts? How important is Santa Claus? And if we tell Chloe the truth, how likely is it that she will ruin it for some other child who does believe?
My kids believe in Santa. But at our house he only brings one thing. You can ask for as many as you like, but you get 1 – he’ll choose from your list. It’s more the personification of the season for me. And the picture of them on his lap.
Well, to be precise, Santa isn’t part of the Christian tradition at all, except as an extension of a bishop who was particuarly generous with gifts in the early years of the Church. So, I guess you’re safe with Santa.
I’d say to have fun with Santa, but don’t promise he’ll bring absolutely anything she wants.
It’s really fun trying to sneak around and get the gifts under the tree and the stocking filled without being caught. Children love to believe in things that are magical. Santa is a fun right of passage in my book. We all figure it out one day, there is no big fat man who squeezes down the chimney, but there are loving parents who buy extra gifts for under the tree for those who believe just a little bit longer.
You totally have to do the Santa thing. If you don’t do Santa then you can’t do the other fun things like the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny.
We explained that Santa was a symbol, a magical expression of generosity. She still believes because we were able to tell her he is based on a real guy, but she doesnt think the mall Santa is the Santa, or that he brings whatever she asks for.
It helps us underscore the meaning of Xmas that we want her to have, instead of the other possible interpretations.