Chloe runs like a girl…
Posted on August 28, 2008
I always assumed that gender roles were defined by society and that as children we are slowly indoctrinated in what it means to be a girl or boy. In order to avoid stereotypical gender differences, I provide all manner of toys for Chloe, from strollers to tool boxes. CNN published an article describing studies that show as early as 18 months, babies are already showing a natural inclination for gender specific developmental stages which is evident from the toys they choose to play with. And, I have to admit, from my limited experience I have to agree.
Yes, Chloe plays with dinosaurs. But, she has a “mommy” dinosaur and a “baby” dinosaur, and they give each other hugs and kisses. Yes, she plays with cars, but she drives them slowly around the entertainment center, or she makes me converse with them. “Hi, car! How are you today?” She does indeed play with balls, but she has a weak and aimless throw. She runs with her arms flailing.
She loves to have her toes painted, she wants me to fix her hair, she loves to play dress up, and she snuggles her baby dolls. And let’s face it, the girl can TALK! Chloe is already showing a strong personality and displays a surprising amount of social confidence. . She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. And, she is not above a “pretty pout” in order to get her agenda accomplished.
All of this makes me a little nervous. I am sort of an antigirl’s girl. When I was a teacher, I hated teaching girls. They were so unpredictable and frustrating, only caring about boys and stabbing each other in the back. I was kind of hoping Chloe would be more like me. I avoided most girls in school, I didn’t trust them, and I couldn’t get a long with them. A majority of my friends were male. Even now, I feel pretty socially awkward in a group of women (although, it got easier after having Chloe, I always have something to talk about.) Sometimes, I worry that we will get to a point where I just can’t relate to her.
In the end, no matter what kind of girl she is, I just hope that Chloe has a clear sense of identity. I hope she feels confident to be who she is without judgement by me or anyone else, even if that means she’s a cheerleader and not a theater geek (my worst case scenario). I hope that she can make decisions based on what’s best for her and her family, and not based on what her “friends” might think. I hope that I am woman enough to guide her effectively into womanhood, without trapping her in a feminine (or anti feminine) ideal. I just have absolutely no idea how to do that. Any suggestions?