Posted on October 10, 2008
I know I may be one of the few, but I loved High School. Sure, I went through all the normal teenage angst. My parents didn’t understand me, I was the only one in the world who felt that way, yadda yadda yadda. Even with all the typical turmoil, I loved my high school experience.
See, in my high school, social groups were fluid. I had my core “group,” but within that group we had many subsets. Plus, I was a total theater geek. Which in most high school means that I would qualify as a social outcast. But, in my high school, theater was THE thing to do. We had jocks, cheerleaders, druggies, techies, musicians, dancers, and hangers on (me). Cast parties where the hottest ticket in town, and since I drove a minivan, I was VERY used popular.
I did live in a bubble though. I knew the people I knew, and I didn’t really try to get to know anyone else. I was AMAZED when I went to my ten year high school reunion, and all these people knew who I was. The kids I would have classified as “popular” or whatever came up to me asking how I was doing and what was going on in my life. People I don’t actually think I shared even a single conversation with in high school.
And now, through Facebook, I am again astonished at how many people knew me AND remember who I am.
I was never in the “popular” group, I was only in a couple of the plays, I took honors courses but never qualified as a true “academic.” And yet, I guess I floated enough between all of these groups that people remember me. I just recently contacted another one of the drama geeks that I was kind of friends with in high school through Facebook. I always expect people to say, “Uh…and you were?” And yet that has NEVER happened.
I guess now that we are ten (almost 15, yikes) years from those times, we are just curious. What happened to so and so? What are you doing now? How did you get here from there? These are burning questions. We have all had adventures, unique and not so much, and now we can all sit back and look at each others lives with more respect and understanding then we ever did in high school.
If you were to ask me ten (okay, fifteen) years ago that I would be communicated with some of the people I now talk to regularly, I would have rolled my eyes and said, “Yah, whatever.” And yet, here I am. Looking at others profiles, wondering, “What did YOU do that got you where you are?”
The astonishing thing is, they are wondering the same thing about me.
Posted on October 10, 2008
I think the difference depends on the purpose of your blog. I started this blog because we were moving to a new state with a 6 week old baby, and I felt guilty about taking my child so far away from her extended family. I wanted to make sure that her grandparents, aunts and uncle could keep up with her day to day, so they could feel like they really knew her, even if they didn’t get to spend much time with her.
Over time, it has developed into a way for me to express myself as well, but the original purpose is always right underneath the surface. What isn’t seen by looking at my posts, is my relatives and some of my friends don’t post comments on my blog, instead they call or email me. They worry I am depressed, or bored. My mom loves to give advice (this is a nod to Dina who commented on my last post.) And my in-laws get a kick out of the pictures.
Now, imagine what would happen if I wrote a post about “finding a hot guy at the Harvest Festival and wanting to jump his bones!” (That’s a slightly modified quote from my review.)
I love to READ the so-called public diary’s of people I don’t know. I have found a lot of blog’s through Ask and You Shall Recieve that I find hilarious and visit every day. However, I don’t think that I could personally air my dirty laundry as openly as they can. I am also not sure of the wisdom of telling the internets all your personal demons, even if it is anonymous. My friend, Matt, explained that nothing is truly anonymous on the internet and if people really want to find you, they can.
So, this may not be the most salacious reading, but it’s what I can feel comfortable with.
I would love to hear other opinions. Should blogging be a forum for people to share information, or should it be more of a public diary, or both? And which do you enjoy reading most?
Posted on October 9, 2008
Firstly, if you read this, and you know who you are, I apologize if I offend, but I need to get it off my chest.
There is a mother in my mom’s group who has sort of befriended me and lately we have been talking about the issues she is having with her son. He seems to be falling off the developmental curve in some fundamental areas, and her doctor recommended that she should have him tested for early intervention. He is only 16 months old, so I can understand her assertion that he may just be a late bloomer and that all of this may be premature. He is not walking, talking, or sleeping through the night. He still puts everything in his mouth and apparently is still drooling. (This is what she tells me anyway, I have spent a little time with him, and I didn’t see him drool.) They have already discovered that he is seriously near sighted and because of this he has to wear glasses and like you would expect, he doesn’t like them so he constantly takes them off.
He seems to be adapting to his environment. I suspect he doesn’t walk because he doesn’t have to. He is extremely mobile using cruising, crawling and climbing to explore his surroundings. But sleeping through the night and his language skills are major issues. She is also not REALLY sure how much he understands. She insists he is a non-compliant child and so it is difficult to accurately assess what he does and doesn’t know.
The thing that blows my mind is that she seems to really disregard people’s advice when it comes to helping her son improve his skills. The conversation started with sleeping through the night. At that time I was there with another mother who has three children. We were both throwing out ideas on how she could develop a bedtime routine. “He wouldn’t have the patience for that” Reading him stories. “He would never pay attention to the book.” Let him cry it out. “He never learned how to self soothe, so he would cry all night.” And on and on.
When we were talking about improving his language skills, we were actually walking on a nature trail. I was pointing out the green leaves on the trees to him. She said to me, “That’s just a waste of time, he’s not going to notice any of those things, he is just looking at you.”
I felt a little stunned. Here she is complaining that her kid is not developing language in one breath, and then in another telling me it is a waste of time to talk to him. Now, whether or not he is developmentally delayed is an issue that will be decided later when he is a bit older, but that doesn’t mean that she can’t start working on some of those things NOW. I was worried when Chloe was behind with her physical milestones, so I put her in Gymboree and made sure we played on playgrounds, and now I have her in a gymnastics program so that she can work on her gross motor skills. I can’t imagine saying, “Oh, she’s not good at climbing so I am not going to take her to a park.”
She has also stated that she’s going to wait to take him to the aquarium or the zoo until he is older. “Right now, all he does is people watch.” And that’s a bad thing?
And this is an intelligent woman, she’s a DOCTOR for pete’s sake.
She obviously loves her son. She had him tested and is arranging speech and occupational therapy for him. I just really hope that she listens to what the professionals have to say so that she CAN actually help him. Otherwise, it will be an exercise in futility.
Posted on October 8, 2008
One of the things the reviewer of my blog mentioned was that I seemed bored and I should go back to what I was doing two years ago, whatever that was. Well, I thought a lot about that. Actually, I have been thinking a lot about that over the last few months. But to really digest it, I need to go back about five years.
(Cue flashback music sequence)
Five years ago, I was still working in the day treatment facility, and I was getting more and more frustrated. I was watching my program disintegrate EVERY time we brought a new student into the mix. I think a professor I had in college said it best, “If you have a student that bites, and you put them in a room with five other students who bite, kick, fight, cuss and are rude, you develop a kid who bites, kicks, fights, cusses and is rude.” And its true. We would have a group of relatively innocent students, we would bring in a kid who did drugs or was sexually promiscuous, and suddenly all the kids where doing drugs or having sex. I saw a major flaw in the way we were running things.
Add to that, my commute was becoming more and more unbearable.
As day treatment costs were becoming even more astronomical, many of the public schools were opting to create their own programs within the schools with the hope they could avoid “farming the kids out.” I was offered my own program at a brand new middle school, and I jumped at the chance. I mean, this was my DREAM job and I thought it was finally going to be my chance to actually make a difference.
Well, I quickly realized that even though the district was in support of my program, the administration and the staff at the school still believed that students with behavioral issues should be kicked out of the classroom. So, I fought for THREE years trying to get respect, and trying to convince teachers who had been teaching 30+ years that my way of doing things was better then just kicking the kid out of the class. I had some supporters, especially in the special education department, and I eventually won the respect from the administration. But, every day I had to but heads with teachers who not only wanted my kid gone, but they wanted me gone, too. To say it was a hostile work environment would be an understatement.
When I finally got pregnant, I knew that I wanted to stay home. Not only because I thought it was best for my family, but because I was on a downward spiral professionally. The teachers, not the students, knocked all the fight out of me.
I was always very passionate about teaching. I thought it was one of the most noble professions one could enter into. We certainly don’t get paid enough for the crap we go through, and so people who do it must be in it because they love kids as much as I do, right? Well, it turns out that isn’t necessarily true. My blind idealism slowly bled away those three years at the middle school. I limped out of there, and I wasn’t sure if I would EVER go back.
When it comes right down to it, I am a type A personality who ran my own program in one form or another for 6 of the 8 years of my professional life. Now I am planning play dates and coming up with lesson plans for a toddler. I would be lying if I said I don’t get bored.
But my other life, though not boring, was destroying me. I am okay with being a little bored and boring for awhile. I feel like I am slowly recharging my batteries, and when Chloe goes to school full time, I will be ready to advocate for kids with disabilities again. In the mean time, I am going to embrace my reality as it is now. And, just maybe, try to get a hobby or something.
Posted on October 7, 2008
Yeah, so a couple of months ago, probably while I was drunk or high or something, I submitted my blog into Ask and Ye Shall Receive for a review. After I submitted, I started reading the site more thoroughly, and realized very quickly that they were going to tear me apart. But, I couldn’t remove my name, so I just sucked it up and waited for the aftermath.
All in all, the review could have been worse. If you don’t want to read it yourself, they basically accused me of being a bored housewife writing to keep family updated. Which, quite frankly, is true. Which, if you aren’t friends or family, is boring. So they gave me a “Meh” rating. Like I said, it could have been worse. I have seen people get flaming fingers and a “Fuck You” rating. Meh is definitely better than that!
So, again, I am embracing my “Mommyblogdom” and I appreciate those of you who do come back and read my blog, even though I am apparently boring.
Oh, and yes, my kid is damn cute, thanks!
(They did like a couple of my posts, though. That’s something, right?)
Posted on October 7, 2008
It is getting so that I can’t tell who is being more whiny, Chloe or me. I think, in all fairness, she starts it. She gets frustrated because I am not playing one of the games she just invented EXACTLY the way she wants me to. So, she starts whining. Then I get tired of her whining and I start whining back. Before I know it, she is scowling in time out and I am pouting on the couch (in my own version of time out.)
I know I shouldn’t let my two year old boss me around, and it frustrates me when she does. But, at the same time, I want to feed her creativity and “play” with her when she comes up with these games. I am just having a hard time with finding the limit between her being bossy, and her trying to engage me in one of her games.
I really do enjoy playing with her, and even sitting there watching her play. She is getting more and more creative, and its fun to watch how her mind works. She does things that are completely unexpected, and I honestly can’t wait to see what she is going to do next.
It is unbelievably frustrating, though, when I go out of my way to try and make sure she is having fun, and all she does is boss me around and cry when I don’t do what she wants me to. Time out really works for her, she always comes out of it with a more compliant and positive attitude. I hate having to resort to that. I don’t want to punish her for expressing her frustration. Once she starts though, she just doesn’t stop, and threatening or giving her a time out is the only way I have found to make her stop.
Anyway, generally, she is a really good kid. And I know I should be grateful that I have a sweet, caring, cuddly child that wants to spend time with me. But nobody has any fun once the whining begins.
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